Operation Koh Samui


Tomorrow Jon and I are leaving for our much anticipated honeymoon to Thailand!!!

I just wanted to give you all fair warning that my posting will be sporadic at best over the next 2 weeks.  I AM BUSY, people.

We're going to Koh Samui, Koh Tao, Koh Pha Ngan, Chiang Mai and Bangkok.  
Any places we need to go?  Please, leave us comments with recs!

I love spicy food and I'm not leaving until I get an ulcer.

I also fully intend to be 50 Shades of Greyer.  Go ahead and judge me, I don't care.

In the meantime, check out the blog, become a follower, memorize your favorite passages and share the love with your friends!  I'm not saying it's a requirement, but it would be pretty nice if I was a celebrity by the time I returned to the states.

That is, if you all haven't moved to Canada in the interim ;)

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Golden Girls Update

Dear Beth,

Please help me update my Miami home.  I am a retired schoolteacher sharing a home with two senior widows and my 90 year-old mother.  Despite our age, we lead very active, shoulder-padded lifestyles!  You could even say these are our "golden" years.  At any rate, the home is owned by my friend and roommate, Blanche, and well, it's a little too 80's now.  Please help us bring this room into the twenty-first century while still paying homage to our Miami lifestyle.

Dorothy Zbornak

Dorothy, I'm SO happy you wrote.  In fact, I've been waiting for your email.  Here it is, in all it's AARP-perfection!

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HGTV Design Star Recap

So who out there saw Design Star last night?  If you did, check out my recap.  Or if you didn't but you don't give a damn about spoilers, read on!  If you didn't and you do care about spoilers, catch up on your DVR, lazy.


Last night's challenge was to create a space for a Hollywood party in specific design genres.  This, in itself, was a bit of a stretch for Hollywood considering nouveau douche wasn't an option- perhaps it's implied in all of them?  Instead, they had to pick from: Victorian, Art Deco, Hollywood Regency, Mid-century Contemporary, 70's, 80's and Futuristic (notice how I put them in chronological order?!!).
Clean slate

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Tuesday Trend- Oversized Lamps


One of the best ways to add some visual interest to a room is to play with scale, be it lighting, art or furniture.  Most normal people play it safe in interior decorating and make the mistake of buying furniture and accessories that are too small.  Yeah I know the large vase is like twice as much as the small vase, but don't be a cheapy- bigger is better!  It makes your tiny-ass apartment look more spacious, ever if that sounds counter-intuitive (and even if you don't live in a tiny-ass apartment, but you probably do).

I'm rioting over oversized lamps this week (last week I liked this).  They are funny and a little obnoxious, two of my favorite traits (if you couldn't already tell).

Here are some of my faves:

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I'm so excited! The Hair Update

Two weeks ago my hair looked like this.  Today it looks like this:
What do you think?  I can't say these are the greatest photos I've ever taken.  I also have about a 10 minute tolerance for hair styling so cut me some slack OK?

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Weekend Links

Rumer Willis must be a fan of the blog, cause she definitely just rioted for design. 
Girl will cut-a-bitch for a pillow. I respect that.

Here's some design-related links that I liked this week: 

This made me think.  That doesn't happen often with the Huffington Post.

This made me hate America a little.

This made me laugh.  Don't be lazy, click on this one.  It's really funny.

This made me annoyed. Dipshit.

This made me throw up a little in my mouth.  Double loser points for referring to NYC as Gotham.

Have a fantastic weekend!  Don't forget to strap on some cowboy boots, rip holes in your jorts and raise hell on your local homewares store :)

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TV Design- Updated

Hi Beth!

My apartment could really use an update.  I haven't redecorated since the late 70's!  Here's the deal: I'm a man living with two female roommates in Santa Monica.  I'm a chef while my roommates are a florist and a secretary.  I like to entertain female guests often, but my uber-conservative landlord doesn't approve of men and women living together, so we had to tell him I'm gay.  Shhhh! Don't give my secret away!  Please help us update our living room for three single 30-somethings who love friends, good food and hilarious misunderstandings!

Jack (and Janet and Chrissy)

OK Jack.  Here you go!

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Tuesday Trend- Herringbone Flooring

Whenever I'm relaxing at home, I love to take brief respite from my thought-provoking novel du jour to glance down at my herringbone-patterned hardwood floors and thank god I have such impeccable taste.

BS you say?  True.  I don't have herringbone floors or any thought-provoking reading material, but I don't really relax much either.

I do, however, think herringbone-patterned flooring is amazing.  And someday, when I have a home and more than 2 followers to my blog (hint, hint), I will make it happen.  Can't make any promises on the thought-provoking novels though.

So for this week's trend (last week I gushed over this) here are some of my favorites:

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Happy Birthday!

 Happy Birthday to my HUSBAND!

Whenever I think of him Celine Dion starts singing "Because you loved me" in my head and yeah that's corny but I'm corny sometimes.  Here's to him and all the joy he brings to my life.

Now that will be stuck in your head all day long & then we'll be singing the same song.  So you're welcome.

Photos by Heather Waraksa
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Today I want to be wearing...


The weekend came & went too fast!  I need another day of lounging, preferably with a revolver-embossed leather bag and a creepy bunny ring.  What can I say?  Sometimes a girl just needs a creepy bunny ring.
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Life is Grand

Photo by Heather Waraksa

Yesterday I showed you all pictures of the apartment pre-Beth and Jon, so today I thought I'd show you what our Grand St. apartment looks like now:

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PB&J Loft

 ... as in Pre- Beth and Jon.  Here's what it (sort of) looks like currently:
(more current photos here!)
Photo by Heather Waraksa
I thought I'd share some photos of our current apartment from our first walk-through over 2 years ago.  We got to look at the apartment before the previous tenant had moved out, which was a huge help for us "walls & doors" people to see how one might decorate an open space.
Though things clearly worked out for us,  just seeing these photos reminds me of the nightmare that is apartment hunting in NYC.  I'm not saying all brokers are terrible people, but if you were in the piles-of-crap-selling-business you might compromise your ideals too.  The lies!  Oh the lies-
loft = studio
jr. 1 bedroom = studio
2 bedroom = 1 bedroom plus a large closet
New York area = Jersey
upper east side = spanish harlem
harlem = washington heights
williamsburg = bushwick / bed stuy
cozy = so effing tiny
quiet = dungeony dark
close to everything! = drunks at your doorstep
minutes from the subway! = miles from the subway

Oh there are so many more.  I almost sucker punched a broker who spent 20 minutes telling us you don't pay for the apartment, you pay to be in NYC.  Don't tell me what I'm trying my best not to admit.  Nevertheless, most apartments here are shit-holes and you really have to look hard to find a good one.

So when we saw this place, Sally Struthers shed a small tear, cause baby we were home!
More photos after the jump!
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Tuesday Trend- Velvet

Last week I was all about this, but this week I can't stop thinking about velvet.  Nothing says I'm A BFD like velvet.  It's luxurious and timeless and textural, which instantly makes your place look clazzy. 

I would drape myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable.

Perhaps we will all live to see that day.  But since it's not yet (contact your local congressman), you'll have to enjoy velvet in the privacy of your own home.

Check out some velvety awesomeness after the jump!

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Time for a Change

This weekend I got my haircut.  This is what I was hoping for:

This is what I got:

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Art Imitating Interiors

I need some art for my apartment- we got none.  After looking around the interwebs for art I liked, I keep gravitating toward paintings and drawings of interiors.  Big Effing Surprise.  I think this works best in contrast- for instance a painting of a very traditional interior in an ultra modern or contemporary room and vice versa.  Or you could recreate one of Kimberly Applegate's compositions- art imitating life imitating art!

I dig these artists big time- what do you think?

1 / 2 / 3 / 4

See the rest after the jump!

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Searching for Christie Brinkley

One of my favorite hobbies is antiquing and flea market hunting.  There's something very cinematic about searching for hidden treasure or that diamond in the rough, which I think is why I love it so much.  When I'm in a store I even fantasize about turning the corner & finding the item of my dreams that I have been coveting.  Oh look!  It's a supermodel in a sports car!  OK that's not what I've been coveting, but if I were starring in National Lampoon's Vacation, that's exactly what I would say.  Some people might call these items "white rabbits" but I call them "Christie Brinkleys."

I love antiques like Clark Griswold loves Red Ferrari Girl

What items make my heart go all 50 Shades of Gray?

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Ode to Jimmy Choo

(sung to the tune of Aerosmith's Janie's Got A Gun- you know you know)

Jimmy's got a cold
Jimmy's got a cold
He said a'Choo, now that's the one
Cause saying shoe's just not as fun
What does her husband do?
And can I get an I.O.U?
If I steal them I'll get arrested
But without 'em I'm just a plain Jane (yeah yeah yeah)
Now that Janie's got them pumps
I'm so jealous I could go insane

Run away, run away from the pain yeah, yeah yeah yeah
Run away from the pain yeah yeah

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Office Space

This weekend the huz and I paid a visit to the Meeker Ave. Flea Market in Williamsburg.  Since the wedding is dunzo, we've been feeling slightly less broke, so of course it's time to buy more stuff!!!  All consumerist jokes aside, Jon's office space is the inner thigh of our abode- an area that causes me embarrassment and must be avoided in pictures at all costs!  His furniture is all PB (pre-Beth, not Pottery Barn) and was acquired through a combination of urban scavenging and adoption.  AND to make things worse, it's not even functional, which means it's all GOT TO GO.  Jon's literary masterpiece is just waiting to emerge, if we could only get him some organization and a comfortable desk chair that fits my tall drink o'water. 

I'd love to combine some key vintage pieces with a modern desk and throw in a stylish leather desk chair.  Notice I said stylish- none of this biznass:

Can you say depressing?

More like this:
  Sources: 1. ; 2. ; 3. ; 4.

Interior inspiration for masculine workspaces after the jump!

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I don't know why, but lately I've been drawn to purple upholstery.  This is strange, because I hate super girlie design. OK I don't haaaate super girlie design, but when I see a pink & purple, white-trimmed living room, I cry a little for men. 

But seeing these amazing photos reminds me that you can add some edge to really pretty colors by messy-ing them up a little with pattern or earth tones.  Here are a few of my inspirations:

Betsy Burnham

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Spring Summer Cleaning

Now that Summer has (un)officially started, I decided it was finally time to begin my Spring cleaning!

This is the time of year where I find out that I'm still not 5 lbs. skinnier like I always imagine I'll be at the beginning of bathing suit season.  Nevertheless, I squeeze my thighs into my favorite pair of very unforgiving, non-stretch white jeans because goddammit it's white pants season... and I also go through my closets to clean some shit out and make way for some new shit.

I live in a loft with one closet, so I value closet space like Republicans value oil.  I also got married a month ago!  So when my husband and I got crap loads of classy wedding gifts, I knew this year would be a doozie for Spring cleaning.  To start, I decided to reorganize our Ikea Expedit shelves and get rid of some books Jon and I pretend to have read because the titles sound smart but we really just got them from the Daily Show free shelf:

Pile o'unread books and travel guides from 2003.

Sonic Boom: a real page-turner

Spring Cleaning is also the time to get rid of clothes you haven't worn in at least a year (or 5), right?  I think I'm finally able to say goodbye to a suede halter top I've had since sophomore year in college.  Yes, folks, that's right.  Suede.  Halter top.  Who on earth would make such a garment?

So here's this blog too, Riot for Design.  I've had a lot of ideas accumulating in my head, like to the point where my brain could be an entire Hoarders episode.  I need to clear that shit out and put it in writing.  And hopefully I'll find some hidden treasures up there to dazzle and delight you, fair reader(s).

So you might be wondering, where the eff are the after pics from the apartment (and how the hell can "suede halter top" and "design" appear in the same blog) but I'm still a little self-conscious about showing the afters cause I'm not quite finished.  Not that I'm making excuses but I'm on painkillers right now because I ran a half marathon last night at midnight and, unfathomably, tripped in the dark and skidded across concrete.  Soooooooo I didn't get as much cleaning done today as I'd hoped.

Aw man this doesn't look nearly as badass as I had hoped...

I shall surely keep you posted on my progress and post some after pics soon!

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