Here we are for another week of Project Runway! Last week we got to meet our 16 contestants and this week we're on to one of my most favorite PR episodes: the Unconventional Materials Challenge!
This week the designers are headed to Dylan's Candy Bar for PR's second candy challenge (season 4 had an M&M's candy store challenge). There is only 1 rule in the Unconventional Materials Challenge: Thou Shalt Not Use Fabric. This show has been on the air since most of the contestants were getting picked last in gym class, so they should know this. But yet, every season someone chooses to ignore this simple and finite rule and ends up with a big fat Auf. Will it happen again this season? One can only hope...
The contestants are set loose in Dylan's "not-a-candy-store-but-a-state-of-the-art-sweets-emporium" where they frantically stick their grubby hands into every candy jar. God I hope they replaced the candy.
As Kooan scurried about the store, smiling and mumbling incomprehensible witticisms, I concluded that Nyan Cat is his personal theme song. It was constant in my head as Kooan, in an attempt to grab every last piece of orange liquorice, attempted to actually climb into the candy
bin like it was one of those Tokyo hotel sleeping
compartments. I think he should, from now on and forevermore, be the poster boy for Koolaid, 'cause that son is Kool. Nyan Cat Kool.
Back in the studio, the contestants grab their glue guns and get started. Since there are still 15 contestants, 90% of whom seem to be weaving some form of licorice which is SO Season 4, I'll just stick to the show's main plotlines:
First and foremost: The Christopher v. Gunnar showdown. Clearly these two lads sense that there's only room for one spunky, spritely, catch-phrasin' gay on Project Runway and immediately form a "fierce" rivalry. Chris hates Gunnar's cackle laugh, Gunnar thinks Chris looks like a Jack-O-Lantern and naturally they both hate one another's designs. Gunnar is convinced that Chris feels threatened by him, which is strange considering Chris has immunity for this challenge. This week Chris' greatest threat is, more accurately, hyperglycemia.
Another big saga surrounds Andrea's design, an apron for a Victorian candy store clerk gone "wild." This is exceedingly disappointing for me to hear. Not just because it's possibly the most ill-conceived design in the history of Project Runway, but because I had this image of Andrea as perpetually 48 hours from a righteous acid trip. Hearing that her idea of "wild" is to replace real buttons with candy buttons kills this image for me. It is, to put it in Tim's terms, completely underwhelming.
The third major plot line revolved around Oh-My-Lantie; who set the bar pretty low with her "one step below design" designing last week. Once again, she struggled with the parameters of the challenge and continuously had to scale back her design. And then, she does it. FABRIC ALERT! FABRIC ALERT! Oh-My-Lantie makes an entire garment out of umbrella fabric. Oh. My. Lantie. It's not completely tragic, but we all know where this is going.
Aside from these storylines, there's some faux-drama involving Elena and a glue gun, Fabio mis-pronounces Chanel and Buffi and Kooan stumble into the unfortunate world of cotton candy, which has prompted me to hereby amend my Rules of the Unconventional Challenge; Candy
Edition: Thou shalt not use Cotton Candy because it looks like shit.
Now onto the judging! In case you hadn't heard, Dylan of Dylan's Candy BarTM is the guest judge.
The TOP:
Begrudingly, Gunnar made it to the top with his checkerboard peplum dress. I would have put Dmitry in the top but I get it, he used too much fabric. Instead we're stuck with Gunnar's press-to-inflate ego over an unflattering, been-there-seen-that dress. I don't care what the judges have to say. NEXT.
Sonjia's aquatic-themed dress was adorable. I loved everything except the strange otter tail-like panel in the back. Her use of the shark gummys to create the effect of a bib necklace def earned creativity points with the judges. Heidi loved the shape and texture of the dress but didn't like the hat. Dylan loved the gradient colors of her assorted Dylan's Candy BarTM candies and Nina said it made her smile. And Nina's pretty tight-assed with her smiles.
Ven knocked it out of the park with his stained-glass-inspired dress. It was simple but well-conceived and perfectly executed. MK practically fell out of his chair when the model walked by. Nina said it was sublime candy couture but Dylan wished he's used more of her Dylan's Candy BarTM candies.
The BOTTOM:
Elena's pina colada warrior woman was totally Balenciaga-meets-Beluga Whale. However after glue-gun-gate 2012 we should all just be thankful that Elena is still alive! Do you have any idea what hot glue can do to a frigid disposition?!!! After the burn, Elena decided to steer clear of the glue gun and secured the remaining licorice to her muslin with ancient Soviet hexes and disdain, which it turns out, isn't the strongest adhesive. All the judges agreed they "got" her style but Heidi said it looked like art with noodles and that the model looked huge. Michael Kors said she looked like a rigatoni Mad Max.
Buffi, this was yours to lose! I was so disappointed because, of all the challenges, this might be the only one she'd be good at. Her woven gummy bodice wasn't altogether unfortunate. In fact, if she made it into a cute romper it would have sailed along Willy Wonka's chocolate river right on through to the next round. But, Buffi made a PAPER skirt. And she chose to style her model after Carrie from Sex and the City, a style icon from *1998*. Heidi said she looked like a 5 year-old going to a birthday party. Michael Kors said she looked like Toddlers & Tiaras. I'll split the diff and say she reminds me of Charlize Theron's character in Arrested Development, the mentally challenged Rita Leeds:
Oh-My-Lantie landed in the bottom for precisely the same reasons as she did last week. She failed to transform the fabric and used hardly any candy in her candy challenge design. I'm sick of her excuses and so is Nina who tells her she's running out of time to learn from the twice-told critiques. Heidi tells her the design is so far below the others it's hard to judge. Dylan loved her use of the Dylan's Candy BarTM logo.
SO, no surprise Ven won and Oh-My-Lantie fought the law, and the law won. Tim had to pluck some nose hairs to force his signature teary-eye when he asked Lantie to pack up her things. History repeats itself, my friends. Let us learn our lessons once and for all: convention has no place in an unconventional challenge. But hot glue does.
Stay tuned for next week, when the contestants must design for former-Project Runway designers! After all this sugar, I'd say we're due for some sour
Riot on!
P.S.
Project Runway needs these dudes. Hissa Igarashi and Sayuri Marakumi created an Alexander McQueen-inspired dress made entirely out of gummy bears.
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