Episode 4: Saved by the Belt
Last week's episode left us with more questions than answers; Andrea disappeared into the night while Chris, with wide eyes but a tell-tale heart, at once feigned innocence while admitting that he "pushed her in front of a bus."
Thank goodness for this little spice of excitement, because this week's challenge is a snore. As the designers gather at the Michael Kors Flagship Lifestyle Store on Madison Ave. at the ass-crack of dawn, they try to piece together the events while MK and Tim go through the specifics of the challenge: create a look for a Woman-on-the-Go that is stylish, fashionable, versatile, practical and comfortable AKA the black & grey challenge. Venture into color at your peril, designers. Somehow I knew Buffi would head straight for the pink.
 |
| Think "blah" |
|
|
 |
| But will it have that blah factor? |
The designers run through their blahsville sketches, buy their blahsville fabric at Mood (Thaaaaanks, Mood!) but can't wait to get back to the workroom so they can get all the dish on the Andrea sitch. Even Tim joins in, claiming that "there is no reason for us to believe Andrea is not perfectly safe." Chris flashes a Keyser Soze smile and we move on, because really who cares if Andrea disappeared. This is fashion and fashion eez shark.
 |
| Off to find his happy |
It's at this moment that Kooan, who still can't find his
Nyan Cat, who has been moping around New York City searching for the happy that he lost in last week's episode, makes his announcement: he, too, will be leaving
Project Runway. He has to get back to Koolandia, where fashion isn't so mean. All the contestants are distraught because Kooan in the competition means one more week for them. Fabio starts freegan out (oh I just couldn't resisit), saying he wants to go too.
And then, an interesting thing happened. The producers of Project Runway began to panick! There is one sacred truth to reality TV competition shows that they must protect at all costs. It's the reality competition's achilles heel: They are nothing without the contestants that they make feel like
nothing on a weekly basis! In an attempt to slow the bleeding, they send Tim to have a kumbayah moment with the remaining designers while some unlucky intern is sent roaming the avenues, wailing Raul's name and blasting the song "Baby Come Back" on a boombox. Tim says "We're all we have left" and the designers all light a unity candle. All, that is, except Kooan, who with a "Make It Work!" flourish sets off on his long journey back to Koolandia. And like the silver lining on this dark cloud cast upon
Project Runway, if you listen very carefully, you can hear the slightest hint of Nyan Cat synth as he exits the room.
And with that the contestants go back to working on their black and grey boring clothes and the producers know they have righted this ship. Raul, after being sloppily wooed back into the competition, instantly becomes the target of everyone's scorn: he can't sew, he has no taste, he deserved to go...
After the Andrea/Kooan thing, the episode feels largely anticlimactic. The main plotlines are:
Buffi and the Pinktones
Buffi couldn't help it. She needs pink like Kanye needs Jesus. Her fabric selection really says all we need to know about Buffi's design: she chooses a black & white zebra print and a pink chiffon, because women can wear this from day to evening, so long as they 1.) have jobs at Claire's Accessories and 2.) never leave home without a portable steamer because chiffon creases like aluminum foil. Christopher puts on his best Ted Bundy face and offers to give Buffi the remainder of his black fabric, knowing nothing could send Buffi hurtling to her fate sooner than suggesting she nix the pink.
Raul is Back
 |
| And here's where I'll secure the mortar board |
Meanwhile, Raul is sitting comfortably in his they-can't-send-me-home-this-week-because-they-just-brought-me-back position. It's true, in all the seasons of
Project Runway, I don't believe they have ever brought someone back only to turn around and immediately send them home again. The judges are predominantly human, after all. However, Raul is really the testing the limits of this maxim, particularly when he starts talking about how Andrea and Kooan "couldn't cut it." Scoreboard, dude.
 |
| Whatever you do, make sure you conceal the fish whistle |
So that's about it. There's some concern about the length of Fabio's dress. Evidently you could see the model's whole "fish whistle" when she tried it on. I'm not exactly sure what a fish whistle is, but as a rule of thumb, I think I'll try to keep mine out of plain sight whenever possible.
Onto the Runway!
Tonight's guest judges are that girl from
Remember the Titans and fashion designer, Rachel Roy. I gotta say, Rachel is probably one of the best guest judges in the history of PR. She really knows her stuff. I guess cause she's an actual fashion designer and not just some C-list actress trying to shove her mug wherever she can.
The TOP:
Once again Sonjia sends a very well-made, interesting dress down the runway. I love the neckline but could really do without the gathering at the hip. Sonjia is definitely a frontrunner in this competition, but I gotta say, I feel like there's always ONE element about her designs that I don't like. But the judges? MK loved that it wasn't black, Nina thought it was conservative yet sexy and Hayden wanted to rip it off the model and wear it home. In fact, she tried to but they edited that part out.
Chris' black mock turtleneck dress with cropped leather-ish? jacket looked fabulous. MK told him he nailed the challenge, Hayden, perhaps hitting a little too close to home, told Chris the jacket looked "killer" and Nina said it was polished, easy, comfortable, glamorous AND sexy. I think she must get paid by the word.
Finally, Dmitry's grey, single-seam jersey dress was very polished but a tad boring. Very Banana Republic. Heidi liked it but wished there was something more, MK said it was the most well-made garment he'd seen that day but should have been in a bright color and Rachel wished she could hire him for her sample room. I guess that's a compliment... Kors went on to say that Dmitry is "one to watch" which sounds a little familiar to this humble blogger. Let's see... where have I seen that before. OH RIGHT, I SAID THAT 3 weeks ago in
Episode 1. Booyah.
The BOTTOM:
 |
| Watch out for fish whistles |
Fabio's black and white print shift dress with that unfortunate looking bolero jacket was all wrong. The proportion of the jacket to the dress was off, and worse yet, there were fish whistles galore out there! I can't believe the judges failed to mention the fish whistles! Heidi said the whole outfit looked shrunken and MK and Rachel said they wanted to see Fabio design the way he dresses.
Buffi's final product is even more disappointing that the sum of its parts. That's synergy. Heidi said it looked really inexpensive, MK said it looked like there was a fire in a beauty salon and someone had to run out wearing their hairdressing smock. And Rachel, in a most informative manner, said that anytime you need to rely on a belt in design, you've been unsuccessful.
 |
| You can't send me home, I was just un-sent home |
And now to Raul. What the hell was that? Was that clothes? Was there a sandwich board thrown in there somewhere? Or maybe mortar board? I'm not sure I want to know. Hayden and Heidi said it had a coo coo crotch. MK said he hated it but that Raul may have saved himself by unbelting the jacket.
In the end, Sonjia was the winner, Hayden got her stinkin' dress and Raul was saved by the belt, which ironically, was the very element that sent Buffi home. Like I said in the beginning, I really like Buffi so I'm sad to see her go. I guess you could say I got accustomed to her leopard-head. But, alas, she never could muster that killer instinct you need to succeed in fashion, or at least on this show. As Elena (if that's her real name) says, "Fashion eendustry, eet is shark." Who's next minnow?
Next week there will be another Team Challenge- oh goody.
Riot on.
Like this post? Please become a member for weekly recaps and share!
0 comments:
Post a Comment